Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Harry Haddon's Incomplete & Unofficial Guide to the Hedonistic Pleasure of the Grape [FULL VERSION]

Harry Haddon's Incomplete & Unofficial Guide to the Hedonistic Pleasure of the Grape
The unofficial guide to wine - the official guide to the culture of Real Time Wine!



Chapter 1: Oh god more wine words, why?
Chapter 2: What the hell is in my glass?
Chapter 3: Drinking Smarter
Chapter 4: Down with scores and up with drinking: Harry's kak en lekker scale of wine
Chapter 5: NATURE vs. NURTURE. Part 1: Nature
Chapter 6: NATURE vs. NURTURE. Part 2: Nurture
Chapter 7: Taking back some wine words!
Chapter 8: The journey continues, one bottle at a time.



Excerpt from Chapter 1: You may already be asking why. Why do we need more words on wine? Can’t you leave us alone and let us just drink the stuff? Do we have to listen to some poncey, big nosed bastard who is going to tell us about the flutteringly fleet-footed scent of an angels fart, offset only by the delicate flavour of cigar boxed, pencil shaved bullshit? In short: Because it’s awesome, of course you can, and I damn well hope not.

Why wine? Well for the last couple thousand years (earliest estimates see evidence for wine making at around 7000 BC) we have been drinking it. We have drunk it to escape our cruel and short lives, to grease our brain’s cogs and wheels, to liven up parties, to find inspiration, and to worship our gods. We have traded wine, made millions with wine, and lost it all with wine. We’ve made it sweet, drunk it sour, wrote books on it, fought for it, died for it, and we have drunk wine because, goddamnit, drinking it is awesome. Wine was at the start of civilization and it will be there, in whatever form, at the end.

So whether you like wine or not, wherever you are on this mortal coil, it’s not going anywhere
But here is the tricky bit, and one that frustrates me, and you I am sure, to no end. How did this wonderful liquid, rich in history, gain this horrible reputation: the more you know about it, the more likely you are to be a pretentious snob.



What the critics had to say...

"Some of my finest work." - Harry Haddon
"Who are you?" - Platters
"Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!" - The Fans
"He's a genius. It's the best app known to man." - Harry's Friend.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Harry's Wine Guide | Chapter 8 of 8: The journey continues, one bottle at a time.


Harry Haddon’s Incomplete And Unofficial Guide To The Hedonistic Pleasures Of The Grape

Chapter Eight: The journey continues, one bottle at a time.



Here we are then, 7 chapters later, at the end of Harry’s unofficial and incomplete introduction into wine. There is so so much that has been left out. I never even got to tell you about how Champagne was once a red wine and used as medicine. I never mentioned Port, Noble Late Harvest, Sherry, all majestic, fun and delightful drinks that are inexplicably forgotten by most modern drinkers. Shame on me.

Thankfully this has not been a course, this is no Wine 101, you will receive no credits, diplomas, not even a single noddy badge. Nada. What I hope that I have given you is a little shove. A nudge to get you into the deep end, where you either learn or get drunk trying.

But I am not going to leave you without any armbands. In this final chapter I want to leave you with some practical tips on how to best progress with your wine lives. Lessons I have learnt from five years of heavy drinking.

The Practical Route

Look, this is so obvious it pains me to type it. The best way to learn more about wine is to drink the stuff. Drink it all the time. Drink it when you are happy, drink wine when you are sad; when you are hot drink chilled Chenin, when you are cold, a delicious glass of Port; drink when you are bored, drink when you are occupied, drink, friends, and be merry.

But – and this is a rather large one – drink differently. If you drink wine all the time but are keeping yourself to the few brands you know, well, it looks more like alcoholism than anything else. I am not suggesting you consume dangerous amounts of wine, I am saying you need to drink more kinds of wine more often.

Look for wine tastings that are being held in your area. Attend them. Don’t worry about not knowing everything, claim your ignorance, wine people are very – despite the horrible reputation given by some – welcoming.

If you are slightly misanthropic, but have a hefty budget even better. I’ll give you the details of my favourite wine shop that will be able to help you find new and exciting wines. Remember this, there is always a wine you haven’t tasted that’ll blow your freaking socks off. There will be until the day you shuffle off this mortal coil. That, friends, is one of the most optimistic things I have ever typed.

Don’t just drink, read. Anything written by Hugh Johnson is amazing, the book Grapes & Wines by Oz Clarke is fantastic, and one of the most useful and friendly wine books I have come across.

Fuck tasting notes. You shouldn’t be reading too many tasting notes, which is what pollutes so many wine blogs today. They are useful to a degree, but if you are going to read something on wine it should inform, inspire and give you a damn good thirst for a glass.

Wine is this fascinating, complex product. It has been around for thousands of years, the rich have always drunk it, the poor have always drunk it, the victors and the defeatists, the intellectuals and the revolutionaries, wine has crossed every border and almost every culture; those it hasn’t reached yet, it will in times to come. To get stuck on “wafts of vanilla with firm tannins and elegant structure”, is like reading and watching 1000’s of pitch reports at the start of a cricket match, but never seeing the game..

The Official Route

Today, it seems, there is only one real official wine course to do in this country. It is run by the person who happened to pour me those four different pinotages that sparked my life in wine, Cathy Marston, and it is the only internationally recognized wine qualification being handed out in South Africa today. Cathy’s WSET courses are the business if you are serious about studying wine.

I will not say a bad word about any other small courses, informal or formal, but if you are going to study wine ‘seriously’ it’s better to go with something that is internationally recognized. On top of that, Cathy is a great teacher.

That’s all folks. Remember that wine is just a drink. A brilliant drink, a fascinating, complex drink, a drink that seems at times to be so much more than just a thirst quencher; but essentially it is just that, a thirst quencher with a bit of fun thrown in.

In the name of Bacchus, I wish you good drinking.

Wine Cellar (Cape Town & Joburg)

My favourite wine shop in the country Wine Cellar ‘s a arilliant importer of superb international wines and have a great selection of top South African releases. They also hold some of the best tastings about, and as an added bonus, they will also cellar your wine for you.

Also, they know their shit.

Tel: 021 448 4105
http://www.winecellar.co.za/
@winecellarRSA
@WineCellarJHB

Wine Books

  • A Life Uncorked by Hugh Johnson
  • The Story of Wine by Hugh Johnson
  • Grapes and Wines by Oz Clarke
  • Champagne by Don and Petie Kladstrup

Honestly, if you read just these books, you are well on your way to becoming a wine expert (along with copious amounts of wine, of course)

Wine Tastings

Wine Cellar is great in Cape Town and Jo’burg. In Durban talk to Nkulu (@nkulu81) he’s the new wine kid in the 031. (Sorry I can’t give more. Can’t endorse things I have not done myself)

Wine Courses

There are lots of small formal and informal courses about. None of them are bad. But if you are serious: The WEST courses by Cathy Marston.


Harry.


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Harry's Wine Guide | Chapter 7 of 8: Taking back some wine words!

Harry Haddon’s Incomplete And Unofficial Guide To The Hedonistic Pleasures Of The Grape

Chapter Seven: Taking back some wine words!



This week I am going to see if we can take back some wine words from the high-flying, supposedly pretentious, wine elite. Some of these words may have been banned on Real Time Wine at the outset, but I think they are useful, and illuminating. Well, they are only illuminating if explained. Like academics who can string together whole sentences of what looks like gobble-dee-gook and get a PhD out of it, wine writers can sometimes fall into the trap of talking about malolactic fermentation, aldehydes, balling, barriques and sulfites in a way that makes wine feel less like a rather nifty beverage, and more like science homework you’d rather not do. 

Terroir
Oh sod that, I’m not starting with bloody terroir.

Malolactic fermentation
In English this sounds horrid, I far prefer the French abbreviation, ‘le malo’. It’s a chemical process that occurs after a wine has gone through its initial alcoholic fermentation. Stronger Malic Acid is converted into Lactic acid. This is desirable in wines that have excessive acidity after fermentation. If a winemaker feels she doesn’t want to reduce the acidity by this process she will have to protect the wine from going through it naturally later in bottle. If you find a wine that is bubbly when it shouldn’t be, most likely it’s le malo. This is a fault and the wine should be sent back from whence it came.

Biodynamics
A somewhat controversial farming technique. Based on the writings of Rudolph Steiner (1861-1925) biodynamic farmers emphasize the importance of working with the movements of the planets and cosmic forces to achieve balance in the soils and vines. The viticulture is pretty much organic, but also employs natural herbal, mineral and organic preparations in the soil. An example of one of these consists of burying a cow horn filled with dung in the vineyard over winter. While many mock and assume these winemakers are high, have dreadlocks and enjoy trance parties, the results are out there. Locally, Reyneke is the best-known biodynamic producer, and they make ridiculously good wine.

Acidification (if you think it’s bad)
Acid Adjustment (if you think it’s OK)
Simply, this is the adding of acid (generally tartaric or citric acid) to grape juice, must or wine. It will usually happen in warmer climates where there is not enough natural acidity in the grapes to achieve a balanced final product. A healthy amount of acid in wine is good; it promotes freshness and fruitness, as well as protecting against bacteria, and improving colour. Depending on your tasting ability – and the heavy-handedness of acidification – you can taste the difference. The acidity in acidified wine seems to stand apart from the rest of wine, as opposed to wines with only natural acidity, where everything feels integrated. If anyone tells you South African wines have to have acid added, they are lying.  And you can tell them they should try out Biodynamics.

Balling
Despite its look and sound, this is not a South African word used by ruby playing winemakers to describe a really good wine. “Flip Jan, this wine is fokken balling!”

In fact it is a term used to denote a measurement of ripeness in grapes. Basically, 16.5 grams of sugar is needed to produce 1 percent of alcohol by fermentation. A balling reading indicates the percentage of solids in grape juice (remember 90% are sugars) by weight. So, if a winemaker is prattling on about a balling reading of 22 degrees, she means that the potential alcohol in the wine made from this juice will be around 12%, and a balling reading of 27 degrees will produce a wine with around 15% alcohol. Simple. You will most hear this term talking to winemakers who will tell you, “Ja, it was a lekker harvest, the grapes taste great, and we picked at around 24 balling.”

Champagne/Methode Cap Classique
Here is a hard and fast wine rule for you. If your sparkling wine is not made in Champagne, don’t call it champagne, because it is not. Simple.

We use the term Methode Cap Classique to indicate wine that’s been made in the traditional method (a secondary fermentation in bottle which produces all the lovely bubbles) rather than a soda stream method, which, just as it sounds, means injecting a still wine full of CO2. If you see Methode Cap Classique on a bottle you know it has been produced in the same method as the wines from Champagne, but is not, and never will be, Champagne.

Barrique
A French term for small oak barrels with a volume of 225l. First designed and used in Bordeaux, these are the most famous and most used oak barrels for wine production. South African wine marketers prefer this term over ‘small oak barrels’ because it makes their wines sound more French and sophisticated. The joke is on them, however, as they are more than likely producing over oaked, over-ripe wines that will last about as long as a Sunday afternoon.

Blind Tasting
Simply, tasting wines without knowing anything about them and then trying to guess what they are. A favourite game among wine nerds the world over. Much is said about sighted and blind tastings and the merits of both with relation to competitions and guidebooks. It is perhaps the most boring, stale, and over thought wine discussion in South Africa.

Blind tastings are a fun game to try with your friends, and can be vigorously educational if you care about such things. It is good for some competitions, and not as good for others. Case closed.

Phylloxera 
A small yellow root-feeding aphid that devastated the world’s vineyards in the late 1800s. It came from North America, and like most other unwanted American exports, spread rapidly. Thankfully, native American vine species have evolved with resistance to this little bastard. Today, by using American rootstocks – these resistant roots are grafted on to whatever variety of vine is needed – we are able to make wine without having to worry about this pest.  

Clones
Grape vines are rather prone to mutations. This means that you may have different vines of the same variety that are genetically different. Clones are cuttings taken from a mother vine – whose genetics are known – and sold to growers from a nursery. If you want to plant Chenin Blanc, you still have to choose which clone, as some will have shown to be better suited to your particular environment, or produce grapes with a desired characteristic.

Old Vines
You can spot how old a vine is by looking at its trunk, the wider the trunk the older the vine. Much is said about better quality wines being made from old-vines. Marketers love to drop ‘old vines’ into their pitch if they can, as if the age of the vine somehow magically imbues the wine with greatness. It doesn’t. Evidence seems to suggest that older vines do make better wines, but that just could be because it was always a good vine and there has been no reason to uproot it. Know one knows for certain yet, and there are no rules about having ‘old vines’ on a label.

Terroir
Oh dear, we are back here. Can’t avoid this bloody word. Like ‘old vines’ it’s used more to sell wines than to educate people about them. So be wary. That tomb of vinous knowledge, The Oxford Companion To Wine, succinctly describes terroir as “the total natural environment of any viticultural site”. It’s a quintessentially French term that suggests the complex interplay of soil, macroclimate, mesoclimate, vine microclimate and topography will be reflected in wines to some degree vintage to vintage, regardless of changing methods of viticulture and winemaking. Despite the fact the French had not conceived of anything so barbarous as coffee Pinotage when they coined the phrase, it is an immediately attractive idea.

Wine nerds are not satisfied with a great wine simply tasting fantastic, oh no, they want it to be able to taste where it’s from. It takes a very long time to work all this out – what should be planted where, and what the results are – it took the Burgundians (French folk, make a lot of Pinot Noir) 800 years, so if South African wine people start babbling at you about terroir, be careful, they are probably just trying to sell you something.

It is an important concept, one that should remain central to fine wine forever, but it is also woefully overused, and as such runs the risk of turning into one of those marvelous modern phrases like “genuine imitation” or “Money back guaranteed.”

Harry.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Win tickets to the Winter Sculpture Fair in Johannesburg (presented by MasterCard)



The Winter Sculpture Fair presented by MasterCard is set to showcase some of South Africa’s best contemporary sculpture, combined with the finest food and wine from Franschhoek on 4 and 5 May 2013 in Gauteng.

Taking place at the NIROX Sculpture Park, which is situated in a private nature reserve in the Cradle of Humankind, the Winter Sculpture Fair promises visitors an unmatched culinary and art experience in the country with friends and family.

Visitors can meander through the beautifully landscaped park, taking in the sculptures of the highly acclaimed ‘After the Rainbow Nation: 2013’ exhibition; savour exquisite food and wine produced by Franschhoek’s top chefs and winemakers and stock up on a range of quality goods  including cheeses, chocolates, and wine for winter.

Tickets cost R100, and are available through www.webtickets.co.za, with a 10% discount if they are purchased using a MasterCard card. Children under 12 are free.  For more information, visit www.wintersculpturefair.co.za; or follow @ArtlogicSA on twitter.

Win tickets

MasterCard is giving away 3 double tickets to the Winter Sculpture Fair to 3 lucky fans. Tickets are valid for Sunday, 5 May 2013 only. The Fair is open from 10h00 – 17h00.

Giveaway/competition closes on 29 April 2013.

Tickets are not transferable. Terms and conditions apply.

HOW TO ENTER: Leave a comment on our Facebook Post associated with this competition with your answer. Giveaway will only occur on Real Time Wine's Facebook comment stream. Answer this question: What does Wine and Sculpture mean to you? Include the tag "#Mastercard" in your comment.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Harry's Wine Guide | Chapter 6 of 8: NATURE vs. NURTURE. Part 2: Nurture



Harry Haddon’s Incomplete And Unofficial Guide To The Hedonistic Pleasures Of The Grape

Chapter Six: NATURE vs. NURTURE. Part 2: Nurture



Wine. It’s a beautiful mysterious thing. All that is needed for it to come into being are grapes. Everything else, oak barrels, stainless steel tanks, temperature controlled cellars, fancy presses, micro-oxygenation and reverse-osmosis machines are all add-ons, extras and aids, none are needed to make wine.

A grape stands out among other fruits for the hefty amount of sugar in its juice; nearly 30% of juice in a ripe grape is made up of sugar. Sugar is the key, fermentation the lock, and yeast the hand that turns it.

Yeasts – whether those found in the cellar and vineyard, or those added by a winemaker – love sugar. It’s what they live for. As soon as the skin on a grape splits and the sugary juice seeps out, those voracious little buggers are at it. The by-product of all this sugar consumption by yeast is alcohol and carbon dioxide. This, simply, is fermentation. A seemingly straightforward chemical reaction that gives us our Syrahs and Chenins, our Sauvignon Blancs and Merlots, Ports and Sherries, Champagne, Ice-wine, Pinotages and Beaujolais; it creates, shapes and works its magic upon grape juice to give us the most diverse, enthralling and deeply satisfying beverage in the history of our species. Say a little prayer of thanks for fermentation before you go to bed tonight.

Fermentation stops when the sugar runs out and the yeasts die of starvation, or when the alcohol levels get too high and the yeasts basically get shozzled and pass out under the table. At this point you have a wine.

It’s really that simple. What’s difficult is ending up with one worth drinking, ageing, or selling.

A winemaker’s task is to gently take the grapes the vines have produced on an adventure from bunches on a vine through to bottled product. The better quality the grape, the less the winemaker should have to do.

For dry white wines the general modus operandi is to have the grapes sorted, and removed from the stalks once they arrive at the cellar. These partly crushed berries then find their way into a wine press. This can be as old-school as a basket with a hand-turned press, or the modern contraptions made up of a cylinder with a slowly inflating balloon that gently presses the grapes. Gentle presses force out the juice without breaking the pips that contain rather nasty tasting substances.

Now we have grape juice. This juice is run into any number of containers made of wood, fiberglass, stainless steel, or cement. The winemaker then decides whether to add cultured yeasts, or let the wild yeasts present in the vineyard and cellar do the work of fermentation. The benefits to the winemaker of adding specific, cultured yeasts are that the results are predictable, and she can choose a strain that emphasizes certain aromas and flavours. Native, wild yeasts are unpredictable, and will differ from year to year, but can give more complexity and interest to the wine.

Let’s leave our fermenting white wine, and take a look at how red wine gets to the same place.

When red grapes arrive at the cellar, the winemaker will also, generally, sort and de-stem the berries, before crushing them and moving the whole lot to fermentation vessels. This mix of skins, juice, and sometimes stalks, is called the must. It is neither grape juice nor wine.

It is this time in a red wine’s life that colour arrives. Colour in wine comes from the skins of grapes. And it is while the juice is mixed up with all the skins that colour leeches out. As fermentation is taking place in say, a big, open-topped, wooden vat, the carbon dioxide that is the other by-product of fermentation bubbles up through the must pushing all the skins to the top. This layer of skins is called a cap. The winemaker can now manage how much colour (and other goodies released from the skin) ends up in the wine by either regularly pouring the juice over the skins (pump-overs), or by pushing down the cap back into the juice (punch-downs).

Once the fermentation has been completed and the winemaker is happy with the amount of goodness that has been extracted from the skins, the wine is run off into vessels for maturation. The leftover skins are pressed, and this extra juice is called ‘press wine’ that is matured separately and used for blending later.

Still with me?

Right. So now we have dry red and white wine. The yeasts have eaten all the sugar, our fermentation has run smoothly to completion, and we have the right amount of colour, flavours and tannins from the skin in our red wine.

If the wine is going to be aged in barrel, this is time it gets transferred there. Oak barrels require an obsession and book of their own. Where the trees are planted, how old they are when cut down, how the oak is seasoned, and who makes the barrels all will have an effect on the wine that is stored in them.

Oak barrels do two main things. Firstly, as the wine ages inside them, there is a small exchange of gases through the pores of the oak. This softens the astringency of young wine, and reduces fresh primary flavours. New oak also adds flavour to wine, most noticeably, vanilla. The amount and types of flavours introduced to the wine depend on how old the barrel is, and how it was toasted. To make a wooden barrel, the oak must be bent into shape over a fire, the more fire treatment the wood receives the more toasted it is. The higher the toast of a barrel, the more dark roasted coffee, chocolate flavours it will give. Lighter toasted barrels will give more pronounced ‘oak’ flavours.

A new barrel will give off the most flavour as the oak and toast are fresh. For every vintage used the amount of flavours imparted will decrease until about fours years on when the barrels become pretty much neutral; although still useful for ageing wines where oak flavours are not desired.

The size of barrel also plays a role. The smaller the barrel the more wine there is in contact with wood, so the effect is more pronounced.

When the winemaker is happy that the wines have aged enough in barrel – from a few months to a few years – she will blend the wine. Even if the wine being made is made of a single variety, a blend of different barrels or tanks will be made. It’s part science and part painting; with each of the barrels available like colours on a palette playing different roles in the final product.

When the blend has been assembled the winemaker might filter the wine to ensure there are no nasties left that may affect its development. A final decision of whether to use cork or screw-cap is made (a debate for another day) before the marketing team try and sell the bloody stuff.

For every variety, and blended wine, each of these steps (and some that I have left out) must be handled differently. Should the grapes be fermented whole bunch? Should some grapes be co-fermented? What temperature will the fermentation happen at? Do acid or sugar need to be added?

Throughout all of this a winemaker should have a clear picture of the wine she wants to make, and use all the means at her disposal to gently guide what nature has given her to reflect this imagined wine. That’s one view.

Another view is that the wine maker’s job is to let nature decide what the wine should be like. Great wine is made in the vineyard, don’t you know. The idea is that perfect grapes, left pretty much alone, will end up being brilliant wine. The winemaker as more of a chaperone than artist.

Either way there is some nurturing going on, and just like with people, there is hardly any agreement on how it should be done. Apart from, of course, how the final product tastes.


Harry.